JANUARY 23RD - Wedding. MY Wedding...

So yeah, that being said, there is plenty to do before then.

I have plenty of well founded reasons to feel like I should not be waiting long to be married to my wonderful future-bride, but I have to admit that the schedule here on out is a bit daunting. I mean, I just started a new job at a place that is about to be booming with crazy amounts of business. Then there are the holidays, which successfully take up all our time until January. Not to mention my cousin's wedding, on the 2nd which will also take a few days. By that time your only just two weeks out from the grand event itself. And there are a million things to try to remember to do. For a kicker, we have plenty of non-wedding, non-holiday stuff to get done in the next few weeks.

Future-bride has really kicked it into high gear, to my surprise and delight. I'm often the type of person who is mentally worrying about every aspect of anything I'm personally invested in, so even though she is taking care of many more things that I have to, I am still overwhelmed for her, or something like that. Either way, I feel a weight that isn't bad, but ends up slightly exhausting.

Today, my focus needs to be on getting the invitations and programs designed and completed. Phew. Wish me luck!

So sorry for not mentioning it sooner, but I got engaged. Last month. Like right after the last post. Sorry.

I feel a bit guilty for not mentioning this to you sooner. I'm a bad friend.

So the past few weeks have been a bit blurry, mostly since we're busy trying to figure out how to plan something we don't really feel up to planning, and my lovely fiancee (she's a girl so it has two e's, I was informed) is working a lot and trying to find people to work when she's not doing it herself, which makes her feel like she's constantly working. And next come my birthday and the holidays. Yay.

I also got a job. I will now be a proud member of the brand new Kroger team. Very proud. It doesn't open till mid December though. That's about it for now I guess, if we're talking on such a grand scale. Perhaps if I post more regularly I can talk in less generality.

P.S. Lisa is a grammar nazi, so I doubt I will be able to end many more statements without using a simple, single period, even though I love leaving the thought unended...

Unless I had a really boring job, I could never imagine getting paid to travel and not enjoying it. The first time I ever got to experience this was while living in Texas. I travelled for All Access Today to Las Vegas to work at the Professional Bull Riding Championship Finals. It was an awesome experience, I even kind of learned to enjoyed the sport of bull riding. But the amazing part, to me, is that I got to spend my time traveling, in airports, on planes, in new places, a new city, an amazing car accident, etc... and I got paid to do it all.
Tomorrow, I am traveling with a good friend, Jon Willis, who is an awesome photographer doing a photo shoot in Iowa. I'm just going as a simple assistant, but its awesome to get to travel and consider it work, because no matter how valuable your time is to your employer, its still crazy that anything like this counts as work! We were discussing it and he enjoys the traveling too, which makes it even cooler. I'm pumped to get to go on a work trip again!
Sweet!

The Lord is pulling some serious crap out of me. Or I'm assuming that's what this process is all about.

I've been unemployed for two months now. In this time my life has shown an increasing level of negative pattern. These may be things which some would consider normal, but its not healthy. My personal spiritual life, my community fellowship and discipleship, my leadership with Lisa, and even my efforts to find a job have all been hindered by something in me that doesn't know how to respond correctly in this situation. I have a strong feeling its all something very deep rooted, a remnant from my childhood. I only say this because as this is being prodded at the depths of my insecurities are stirred up. I'm still not sure how this all connects together but its something the Lord is working out, and I trust that, so I'm just going to work on allowing Him to break open the dark parts of my subconscious.

That's it really, I've got big things turning up, and I don't even know what they look like yet, but they are being pulled on and I'm confident they will soon be uprooted.

Hello Sozo!

Recently my father started his own company. After about 20 years of working in real estate for West Shell (when it was just West Shell), ReMax, and other smaller companies, he is finally his own master. He got his broker's license this past summer after much laborious work and is finally on the small business owner path. Its not too big of a transition as far as mentality, because he has technically been self employed for a long time, but now he gets to reap the benefits of the adventure that is total personal control.

All this goes to say, I am excited and proud, and ready to try my hand at helping him optimize his business capabilities through self marketing and all the intricacies the Internet provides for doing so. I think its awesome when people like my dad can start a small business with a real purpose in mind. Sozo Realty is a company that is truly there to help people, and that is the owner and founders heart. I know it from a lot of personal experience. Its cool to get to try your hand at helping those kind of people!

Its amazing the ways in which the Lord can teach us to know Him.

As I learn to love Lisa in a reflection of His love, I learn more about who He is to me, how He wants me to know Him. One of the biggest things He is teaching me is how He wants to relate to me in life. I'll steal an analogy a friend and I have been using lately to grasp this. My friend and his family recently moved into a new, awesome house. His son helped him in the moving process. In a move of sheer genius parenting, he decided that connecting with his son was more important than efficient moving time, so he allowed his young son to take up some of the decision making process and do as much of the moving as he was able to at his age. He could see that his son came away with a sense of accomplishment, he learned and worked and found fulfillment and confidence. He knew his father trusted him and wanted to help him take on a big task.

I have always been afraid in the position of the son who is moving. God knows what He is doing, and I always want Him to tell me to sit on the porch while He moves all our boxes, then we can just go get another load when He is finished. But He doesn't do things that way. I want Him to take control, because He knows what He is doing, where to put things, how to carry them. But His goal is not to get the boxes into the right rooms. His goal is to relate to me. His goal is that I know who He is, who He wants to be, that I know who I am to Him, and that I grow in relation to Him. He wants me to take steps in the move, and I can ask questions, but He won't ever just give me all the answers, and He won't just do it Himself. I am always asked to learn to know Him more in every situation.
That's what the Lord is teaching me. It is one of the strongest confirmations I have ever had that I am moving in the right direction, which is ironic since a lot of it is learning how to move in the right direction.

Its seems foreign that I am learning to know Christ better so much so because I am called to be an image of Him in many ways to another. I'm learning to trust that He is full of truth and that's where my confidence should be founded. I am something new because He asks me to fill roles I am not personally qualified for, but He's showing me the ropes.

THANK YOU JESUS!!

(Epiphany + Video) = {Epipheo}

Some good friends of mine have recently become pretty heavily involved in a new wave of internet phenomona termed "epipheos". An epipheo is basically an instructional video falling somewhere between a short documentary and a commercial. They are designed to be viral, with an intention of creating paradigm shifts in enough viewers to influence e-culture. As a result of these friends involvement I've become modestly interested personally, so I will post those which interest me from time to time.

Think youtube video on documentary steroids.

Their site is http://www.epipheostudios.com/.
You can check out the new "youtube" of epipheos at http://www.epipheo.com/.

This first one is definitely one of the most straightforward examples, and the first I've seen without any text necessity.

dove evolution

Shared via AddThis

Lordship is on my mind.
In studying Lordship as of late, I come to realize how important it is that Christians get this concept. Its something I have recognized (at least for its effects if not for what it is) for many years. This doesn't mean I've lived by it.
Lordship is something which is defined by a moment. There must come a point where a man surrenders all and comes under a new master. This is left out of the modern American gospel in the majority case. It is required of a man's self to die, and any who is unwilling is not ready for Christ.
But at the same time, one is never able to consistently remain in this role. Fallen men are always trying to fix, control, and design their lives, and one is required to continue to return to this principle, to maintain a heart of brokenness. One has to continue to come back to believing the truth of God's promises and the nature of the lies coursing through his own veins.
The paradox here brings strange emotions. To come to a place of sheer brokenness and willingness to surrender is one hard found, most are not often ready to accept. It is not too basic to mention that its just simply hard. However, when you find yourself available to this perfectly intervening grace, your filled with relief, peace, and joy. It is the only solution in a world which inevitably demands one. To know the truth intimately is to experience true love and know what hope means for the first time.
The truly cognizant heart cannot continue on long in this world without finding ache in recognizing the continuation of his rejection of this surrender. Eventually a heart will always believe the lie over the truth again, and at some point a betrayal reoccurs. This is perhaps the most agonizing experience a human should be able to know, if he truly could understand the gravity.
This week, I have been studying Lordship. And in this time, I have recognized how wonderful and beautiful a life can be when lived from this place. I have known this truth in a far less definitive form for many years. At the same time, I have even this week known the pain of betraying this truth, of accepting lies as the proof that slavery to self is worthwhile, and I have known the after effect of fear which comes in trusting such broken systems.

Lordship, Lordship, Lordship, when will Your way in me be complete?!?

Boot camp has finally come to an end, and what an adventure it has been!

For three months we three lived in a new way, building practical steps into our lives to incorporate the truth He has been giving us. And I am confident that these new aspects will for the most part become permanent staple characteristics of our lives. God is teaching us to live in Rhythm and with purpose toward Him in daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, and life spanning commitments. This has taken its effect upon every aspect of life, from financing and work ethics to household maintenance and relationship building to the most inner depths of personal communion with God.

So last night we had a party, with which I think all of us were surprised by the large outcome. We had a great time of seeing familiar church faces as well as some we see less frequently. The fellowship I experienced was only rivaled by the fellowship I saw surrounding me. The evening of fun and snacking was highlighted by a time of prayer over each of us as we move forward into some different directions. Dave McMurray is getting married next month of course, and Dave Hansen and I will be continuing on living together, with the aim of creating and maintaining a similar atmosphere for other single guys to come into, ready to grow together in discipline and live actively as the church to one another and with whomever we may have opportunity.

Chuch Caine had an awesome word for us as he was given an image of Christ greeting each of us in a reception line at the end of this journey we have been on, and slipping each of us a handful of seeds with a hug. He also saw that we have 3 options of what to do with the seeds we have been given. We could seal them in a bag and put them away for safekeeping. We could immediately devour them ourselves. Or we could distribute them among those around us, and cast the remainder out upon the earth. It is the third which I hope each of us has, and which is one of the factors in the mentality which brought me into the boot camp in the first place.

God didn't waste any time last night giving practical circumstance in which to spread seed. Everyone left by about 11 pm, and I went out for a walk with a couple people while my roommates went right to bed. A was sitting at a park with a couple friends when a man, Todd, walked up to us. Todd is 33 and has been homeless for a little less than 2 weeks. He definitely drinks, but was definitely sober-minded as he spoke of his plight and we responded with Christ's infinite love for all us co-hellions who fight Him. He ended up coming home with us, as my friends departed he got to take a much needed shower and find some more comfortable clothes. It broke my heart to see him brought to tears for a love he does not understand and desperately desires but can't or won't comprehend. We prayed many times, and when I went to bed I read from Psalm 4

"In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."

As I went to bed he desired to stay up and read, and apparently did so all night long. In the morning my roommates both had opportunity to talk with him, and when I got up later he told me that he hadn't slept all night, because of visions and nightmares that plagued him. I got to spend more time in prayer with him this morning, and put on soft worship music so he could rest while I took a shower. While I was in the shower he got up, took all his belongings, and disappeared. I hope he returns some day.

I am so confused such an intense situation of such gravity as this one. I suddenly feel completely helpless, and all I can do is utter secret prayers for miracles. Perhaps this is the best solution, and I need to simply grow in that role. I get so confused to see those who need so much, seem to see it and the solution, but don't really get it. All I can do is live in prayer and hope that he does, and seek your prayers as well. I do know one thing though. My life should be lived focused on these opportunities. Constantly through those 10 hours of friendship, I kept thinking, "I need to be prepared for this, I should be living with this in mind." Why does anything else become a focus point in my life? I don't know, but I don't like it.

1 Corinthians 12 &13

I would like to turn now to 1 Corinthians 12-13 for a clarification of this love. In chapter 12 we learn much about how a body relation. We are designed to all exist differently; there is no ideal image of a follower of Christ. There is to be beautiful differentiation between members, for different purposefulness. None should consider himself higher or lower based on his difference from another. All have need for one another, and should never take on an attitude which prefers any gifting or personality. He even says that just as the body has parts which should be treated with modesty, so also certain roles should be performed behind the scenes. So we realize that a principle stands in that all men are designed to relate within the body differently, fill different roles, know God differently on a personal level, and do this so “that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.” (verse 25)
Chapter 13 is one all too familiar to Christians and others alike. This chapter is one devoted to love, which is most often heard at weddings. It is used to give an example of the intensity of the vows of marriage, and to remind a couple of the commitment and hard work upon which they will embark for the rest of their lives. A marriage is a relationship founded upon love as an action which often goes against all desire, a relationship which mirrors Christ and the church, one defined by sacrifice and submission. It is interesting to see that this passage which we gain so much insight toward this relationship is written after 1 Cor. 12. In fact, after they begin to understand this idea of differing roles in the body and unity through chapter 12, it ends by saying, “And I will show you a still more excellent way.”
This chapter on love which is so readily used to state the intensity of marital love is in fact written to explain the love every Christian should exhibit toward one another. This type of love which we so greatly value and idealize toward marriage is actually one which should fuel our relation toward one another. While marriage is far more intensive in requirement of this love, it is identical to the attitude I should have toward body members. Whatever love attitude I would take on toward my wife should be equally exhibited toward all fellow Christians.

Real love experienced by men and through human relationships is simply an outpouring of God’s love, a dim reflection of a universal human need and longing. That is the crux for beginning to understand the massive difference between what we call love and what true love is. Human love is non-similar to God’s love. It is even a polar opposite in some aspects. They should really be two different words based on how dissimilar they are. Humanity’s greatest longing is for a love it does not know, but nothing within it knows how to create this love. Truly, few ever experience the love they were designed to flourish within. A love built on man is self focused and rewards seeking when it is tested deeply. The only chance for real love to exist is to be wrapped up in God and allow His control and Lordship so that we can reflect a glimpse of Him. Rhett Barbour explained it in this way, “Love is evidence of being united with the Father.”
Love from God, termed reflective love from this point forward, is only available to be distributed when relating to God. A simple analogy for this is that one can only pour water out of a hose when it is connected to a water source. Therefore, a man can only give love if he is getting it, and he can only get it from God, or men connected to God.
Love should be a character trait. We know that God is Love. He does not simply love, He is love. Even if there was no one to love, He would exist as such. We also should be defined by love, not simply loving. It is not simply a purpose toward a specific person, but an attitude about existence which directly alters every perspective. It is evidence of Lordship at the deepest level. God tests our maturity and love for Him by how we love one another, his body (1 John 4:7-8;20).
This reflective love starts as a principle and perspective on existence. From this point it is very quickly made into an often painful practicality in literally every situation. We are told to do all to the glory of God. This means love in every simple, even seemingly non-relational action. I need to figure out how to eat and drink out of love, even when alone. Over time, this will eventually takes on a catholic unification. This means that if Christians are allowing this holy transformation, then the main component of who they are in Christ will also be the asset which makes them readily unified. Picture all Christians placed in a big box, and shaken about, randomly reassigned and surrounded by totally new brothers and sisters. If they are living to embrace love, then this doesn’t even create a hiccup in their capability to co-exist and flourish in building up one another and the kingdom of God. God comes between relationships that are purposed in love (Romans 15:5).
This type of love is not romanticized, but sacrificial. It requires submission to something we do not fully understand and will never be able to completely conform to. Submission is a relinquishing of personal will and preference. It can’t be romantically charged. To be a great man or woman is to be like Christ. To follow Christ’s earthly example is to be characterized by submission and sacrifice. To be a man of God, mirroring Him as a husband and leader requires total sacrifice of self to him and others.
As we increasing in love for one another, God is able to establish blamelessness and holiness in our hearts (1 Thess. 3:12-13). We are purified as we pursue to make God’s love realized in a practicality. This reflective love also holds within it the capability to build characteristics such as faith, hope, joy, and peace in those who are willing to embrace practicing it. 1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us that love is the greatest attribute, greater that faith and hope. If we recognize and wrestle through this truth, then we will begin to grow in these other ways as well; out of His love flows all else. Per example, Faith is realized when we know His love, for He who loves unconditionally and eternally could never steer us wrong, and etc.
We need to love God the same way that we should love one another. Our love is all the more validly poured back on its producer. To have the chief aims of dwelling in love and loving in reflection creates an entirely new relationship to God. This will make Him less confusing for many, encouraging them down out of their ivory towers to enjoy the warm grass and breeze with Him. It will take Him off of the examination tables of the church, who often eagerly seek to understand Him to the point of dissection, forgetting to know Him. Also we cannot simply feel out who He is, but we can love what we do not fully grasp, and gain in understanding through the Spirit and Word. There is much that comes to naught when love is the goal and realization. Intimacy is the ends we have opportunity for here.

Boot Camp Summary
Theory- We can begin to fulfill all biblical and spirit led roles for our lives. This is the only true source of satisfaction in life.
We are designed to live in rhythm. This is the key to creating a lifestyle atmosphere that promotes thriving in spirit led action. Many are led to give their all, but poor focus or lack of balancing factors prevents true long-term effectiveness. This means that people strive toward goals to which they have not been led. It also means that even if they are being led to a goal, living in a way that does not support this in every aspect will cause burnout in the long term. Men give there all to one thing alone until someone tells them to stop or they decide to quit. This is not ideal or effective.
God designed man to live in rhythm. He rested the seventh day. This is a picture of his role for man. Men are designed to tire. It is inherent that men should rest weekly, and God requires that all men find time of rest and enjoyment on a weekly level. None should be thus deprived.
When God created, he made night and day. Until only recently in history, it has remained true to the entire world that the day if for man to act, and by night there is little that can be done. This is a design of natural rhythm.
Because we can see that life is completely designed in rhythms and effectiveness is found in being purposeful in all things, it is only logical that we should begin to build lives that are intensely designed to fulfill goals that God has established for us as humans and individuals. Some of the general goals include worship, work, rest, creation, relation, family, etc.
Boot camp is designed to give young men the opportunity to submit their lives intensely, taking on a like-mindedness with Christ, in order to find this lifestyle that honors him. Submission is the first step toward suffering. Christ is the example for all men, and a man, specifically differing from a woman or child, is called to die daily for Christ and others. We as men need to be living lives in total submission to death of self. Only in honing this in with stable living will we find true manhood and Godly life.

The truth is that Christianity stands in stark opposition to the American mindset. This people has adjusted the depths of Christian perspective over a couple centuries to create a gospel which is only half of its original. We have lost so much of Christ's perspective, and we often accept and preach the opposite!

A good example of this is submission. The only time when submission is spoken of in America is when feminists are talking about how no women should ever have to partake in it. Even in conservative churches the best they can scrounge up is that a wife should submit and a husband love and serve. But what about Christ? I believe I have already spoken on this blog of Christ's submissive nature. From the moment he decided to take on human form he lived in constant submission, and it was through this constant deciding to submit that he experienced all suffering. In the same way, we must submit as an act of reverence to Him and so that we may partake in His suffering. The Bible pretty much requires it for proper living. But we don't really grasp that for the most part.

All this to say, in a short format, that we need to take a look at the Bible apart from any and all tradition. Traditions aren't bad, if they are directed by Scripture. If they are, then that need to be consciously acknowledged for any purpose to be found.

I guess I come to this point through the boot camp, learning so much about what the Bible calles us to in lifestyle. This isn't an area which seems to be addressed very often. We usually talk about what type of person we should be, and even what we shouldn't do, but not about the habitual lifstyle actions we should be forming. More on this later.

God is growing me in a direction that I have never heard of in a church! The only Christian lifestyle it seems similar to is that of the seasoned, passionate, Christ-centered missionary. Christianity in America is not usually lived out as the Bible instigates. Hallelujah for being taught to live more fully human before God!

Disciplship Boot Camp is intense.

I'm just finally getting some time to post about it now that its been in full swing for nearly two weeks.

I'd like to start where we have come to thus far in the journey, with some of the weekly requirements in more detail, as well as some of the highlights thus far.

On weekdays we have a curfew of 11pm, and we are all usually out of bed by at least 6:30am or so. We are beginning to build individual daily rhythms for ourselves, mine includes showering, time studying, prayer time, a slight workout (I use the term very loosely), breakfast, and some free time before I go to work, usually at 10am. Mondays also include Dinner via Dave McMurray's cooking, with confession and prayer for a while afterward. Tuesdays are my days to cook, and whatever comes out of that is followed by a Biblical Manhood class with John Herman. Wednesday is a free evening, thus my ability to write this post. Thursday is Dave Hansen's culinary exhibition, followed by time with the Boot Camp's creator and main schemer, Justin Carabello. This time also includes study and discussion of Elizabeth Elliot's Mark Of A Man, which we are speeding along through. Friday is another night or relative freedoms, and Satuday includes some type of service project, along with the possiblity of Shabbat meal at any willing family's house. Sunday's only requirement is the Gathering service in the evening.

We are also meeting more sporadically with people like Heath Hostetler, who is doing our financial training and budgeting, and April Pryor, who is teaching us more on building a rhythmic lifestyle.

Getting into this Boot Camp full swing has been alot like trying to learn how to drive a new vehicle. We still haven't figured out the tension on the brakes and gas. I was eager to come into submission to Godly leadership coming into this program, so the real point of learning thus far for me has been in finding purpose in things which are plotted out. It is hard for me to find myself sincere in something like a prayer I planned ahead for a scheduled time frame. But I know there is a way to be purposeful in this, so I continue to strive on in this discipline. Also, I have been realizing that I am so focused on the Boot Camp and all the good it gives opportunity for, I am forgetting the Holy Spirit. It is a dangereous thing to become confident in a rhythm. But a rhythm provides a greater depth of purpose, submission, stewardship, and dominion in life. So I consider myself blessed to be wrestling through this paradox so quickly into this process.

All that deep stuff being said, its just been a blast to live so purposefully and with to awesome/hilarious/diverse/Godly guys. Here are some photo's of some of our sweet meals together thus far! Enjoy!

Enjoying Dave Hansen's first meal of Brats and White Chicken Chili with Justin before studying The Mark Of A Man

Dave McMurray learning first hand how to fry up the Trout Heath just caught the other day.

So boot camp started about a week ago, and I hope to document the journey on this blog as regularly as possible, but limited internet access will hinder this greatly.

Here are some recent thoughts until I can provide more.

Suffering for Christ is something I have come to understand to some small extent in the past year. I understand it just enough to know I want it, but not enough to realize I wouldn't really if I knew it well enough! But the truth is, we should desire it because we know that our likeness to Christ is identifiable by our suffering for Him. But as of lately, God has been revealing the truth that submission is the key in partaking in Christ's suffering.

Eph 5:21 "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Any act of submission we come to should be seen in direct relation to Christ!It is revolutionary to realize that every action Christ took, from the decision to become human till resurrection was an act of direct submission. He submitted to a body. He submitted to knowing fully the glory of the Father and the greatness of what the earth could be and the salvation and restoration of the Father. At the same time, he knew the fullness of the falleness of humanity and the end results of the lives surrounding him. Yet he lived his life on constant submission to the will of the Father in His teaching, and in constant submission to others who always rejected or misunderstood Him. Jesus Christ was, and still is, the most misunderstood human being in the history of the planet! I cannot imagine having a perfect perspective on the world and every individual life and yet never being understood when I spoke.I say all of this to conclude with this. As I was realizing these things, I thought of my friend/roommate, Dave. He works with inner city kids in an after school program, where I used to volunteer daily. Those kids hate everything he says. They argue against him every time he tries to portray the Gospel to them. They will not accept his love, and mock and scoff at his perspectives on life. He gets pretty discouraged and loses focus sometimes, which makes total sense. But here's the point. Even if he never sees results, even if there never even are results (which I don't believe is true), he is living out a story that directly reflects Christ's ministry on earth.

His narrative in life right now perfectly reflects a small scale of what Christ's entire existence on earth consisted of!

What an intense mission, how much more purpose could we ask for!

Be encouraged in your hardships, whatever they may be, for the Father is reflecting Himself through you in such circumstances!

Truly, there is greater glory to Him in such a setting!

Boot Camp Update.

I'm pretty certain I have mentioned the boot camp of which myself and a few other members of my church body are about to become guinea pigs. Tonight we had a much needed pre-meeting.

This boot camp is about to effect a lot of things in my life. Sleep schedule. Financial outlook. Hospitality capabilities. Spiritual discipline. Selflessness in super close living. The end result should be an overall intentionality and control of my life. Its interesting to realize that all of these extensively practical changes are truly very much central to living in accord with Christ. I mean, I don't have a clue what the actual changes are going to look like in the end, I just know they are gonna be very large and very fruitful. Its really sad to me that more singles, especially guys, are no where near even knowing they need this or having people people who would impliment it for them. I am truly blessed.

This, just like the Story Formed Life, is something which I deperately need personally but am more eager to be leading, simply because I see the great need everywhere and the great potential within.

SWEET!

Over the last few weeks, our body has been under a lot of attack. Actually, because of an unrelated note, I really don't like calling our church a body, just because of the fact that "the body" should be our term for the entire catholic church. It expresses to a greater degree the intensity of universal unity we should be conscious of. But I digress.

Our body has seen various forms of attack. Relational disturbance, depression, spiritual cloudiness, emotional turmoil, spiritual confusion, and even physical sickness and negative daily routine changes. I truly see everyone of these as a way in which we are being bullied.

But Satan doesn't attack those standing still, usually not even those meandering about, his focus is on those driving a straight line. Satan hates purposeful pursuit of God's glory. We are seeking the Lord, and He is giving unified vision. This attack is ultimately an attempt to create varied vision. Faithfulness and unity are key to what the Lord is doing. So I seek Him...

God!

Take this!

Destroy confusion, destroy disunity!

We don't ask for easy-going, but for clarity in the vision You are casting!

Give us unity under Your callings, work in us together toward your common goals!

Soli Deo Gloria!

So some of our church body has decided that we will be planting a pretty monstrous garden. A few of us proceeded to till a plot and build a pretty sweet compost, and then we presented it with the intention of allowing others to participate. Already we have a number of others who are, and some already have window boxes started!

So I've been elected to kind of head up any publicity this thing may need, so you may begin to see the occasional note or pic on here.

Thinking about being a farmer, not just a gardener but a farmer, has really become very exciting to me. I think there must be something more to this mindset which almost helps me to align myself more biblically. I really think modernization has created a huge gap for the masses in general conceptions about life.

This is especially crazy to think about when understanding that in every culture in history, nature and much more specifically farming has been much more of a close and tangeable operation, so that even merchants, scholars, and aristocracy had a general knowledge of what it looks like and involves. I mean even the richest of nobility in cultures past had to live close enough to crops to have them transported easily, so most had some clue of what was takes place.

And now we have what some might sadly call the "luxury" of only seeing food in processed form, neatly packaged on store shelves. We live in fear of germs. My personal experience and what I can tell from others affirms that most of us are not usually very interested in non-processed food, but at the same time we fear contamination. For 99% of human history, we ate raw things right out of the ground, but now we mess with it and then fear what might be in it.

Sorry for the rabbit trail. The garden should be great.

So today was a nice dreary day, perfect for going out to try and better master the manual controls on my digital camera. I don't think I got much accomplished, but here are some of the cooler shots I grabbed.

We say "The Lord works in mysterious ways."

I think this is a foolish human perspective.

God is the creator. Everything He has ever touched has flourished with originality. He is unable to act in the same way twice, He has too many good ideas for how to do things in new ways. We act simplistically without much faith, and become frustrated at every turn because we don't understand how God is working. Duh. What makes us think we should be able to comprehend the creative expressions of this YHWH in any circumstance? We use the afore mentioned phrase as a way to settle our faithless confusion. The truth is that if our faith in the Leader was at all sufficient we would be able to enjoy the ride and seeing what He makes up along the way instead of becoming frustrated at every curve ball. We are so blessed to be given characteristics of Him in this vein, and to be commissioned to live fruitful lives. The command to be fruitful is always taken simply as a call to make more humans. But it entails much more. It is a call to have purpose, to creative and make new things. This is one of our highest and most intimate callings before God.

GO CREATE!!

God is so good, He moves in such timely ways, and we are often blessed with open eyes to see His glorious action upon the earth! All I can do is pray!

God, destroy the flesh which is constantly looking to creep back into my heart, and fill me with Your Spirit to the point of overflow!

Give me desire more greatly for Your will, and nothing else, may all that I partake in be rooted in a love and desire for you!

God, continue to move in this place, sweep down and fill this place with Your Spirit, unify Your Bride, raise up leaders from all churches to seek this end and to call others to it as well. Bring all Christians together to glorify You and seek Your praise together as one! Fill us so greatly with your Spirit that we can do no other thing than fill this place with Your name! Move in this city, break down the hearts of men, and give your servants a heart of evanglism, as missionaries seeking out the darkest places. Send us into the brothels and ghettos, out of the church doors and into the places of the destitute and the broken! Change hearts!

Who is like YHWH!?!?!?!

I returned to town just under a week ago from ihop, the International House of Prayer. Myself and a group of friends spent 4 or 5 days out in Kansas City, and the the time spent there has had a pivotal effect that I believe will only increase.

While ihop hosts a variety of courses, programs, and other ways to be involved, the main force of what they do lies within their prayer room. This prayer room is continually hosting hundreds who seek God in fervant, tireless prayer, while live worship is played 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. So students and visitors from across the world are in constant pursuit of God in this place literally all the time.

God's Spirit is markedly upon this place. Seeking Him become a new thing in this place. I know for myself personally, God became even more of one who I honestly want constantly. I seriously came away feeling homesick for ihop, even the strangers I spent time in the prayer room with, and mostly, missing God. I don't know if that sounds bad, but I miss God all the time now. Any time I'm not talking to Him, I miss Him. The most similar concept I can think of is when someone falls head over heels in love. I think most people can relate to a time when you constantly are thinking about being with someone you are in love with, when you miss someone from the moment you leave them until you see them again. That's how God has become to me, and I am so thankful to Him for turning my heart more greatly to Him!

I want to go back immediately!!

Read Colossians 4:2.

Depending on your translation, the verse says something to the effect of...

Always be in constant prayer, and watch what for how the Lord will honor this.

(personal paraphrase)

I read that this morning, and it is a pretty appropriate summary of recent events, not to mention very self-fulfilling. God has been faithful as of late to consider myself worthy of His blessings, and I have seen them poured out in an ability to be more passionate about Him. We have been seeking Him and found Him more faithful and abundant than any man can ever fathom without being in the midst of such circumstances.

Over the past few months, my single male friends and I have been pursuing Christ with a hope to live in closer community for fellowship, accountability, and general discipline. God has shown Himself faithful in that He has provided vision within the leadership of our church to go one step further, and a few of us will be entering into a 3-month "boot camp" program which is specifically designed for these goals, along with greater accountability, enhanced discipline for more responsible living, and purposeful mentorship from older men who seek to see us mature and take on church leadership. And to think all we asked for was more interpersonal discipline!

God is also showing Himself faithful as we seek to find more unity among the churches of this community, of this entire city even! We desire to see churches as He sees them, overlooking the numerous flaws and recognizing those redeemed for His Glory. I am broken when I realize that all believers hold on fiercely to some viewpoints or doctrines of God which are not true, even when they are seeking Him, and yet He remains faithful to men! We believe and pray for unity among denominations, that churches would partner together to see Him and His glory reaching out to the world, and the specific places where we are involved. This past week in Over the Rhine, Dave and I were able to participate in a Bible study which we were unsure about attending, and the Lord blessed it amazingly. It was an unbelievable experience to go into a completely unfamiliar situation and seek God's praise with new people in earnest. Let cultural boundaries be broken and all voices join as one!

God desires us to be pursuing Him in prayer. We know not how to follow in ourselves, so we must simply pursue Him to have His way with us, and then actually allow this to take place. We must pray for Him to act through us, because we won't know what to do with His will and more of Him in us. We don't only need wisdom, but we also need His action to counteract any appearances of flesh within us. Fill us with your Spirit! Destroy the flesh within us daily!

Lord, kill me if I don't preach the Gospel!

Two days ago, I moved into the heart of Over The Rhine.

This post relies heavily on the one before it, so you will probably need to be familiar. God is moving in this body of believers, and changes are happening. The plan is to move into OTR with my good friend and fellow body member Dave, who works with the kids of OTR in an after school program which I also volunteer with. Eventually, I plan to move on to a house of men in Bellevue or Ft. Thomas designed to foster growth and hopefully provide a center for artistic worship.

Making this move was really scary for me. Not in a way so that I was actually scared, but in a "can't think straight, feeling short of breath all day" kind of way. I have real issues when it comes to trusting God with monetary commitments and committing to something for a long term amount of time. So obviously, signing a lease on a house in Bellevue would be a huge commitment for me. This is only made all the more stressful for me by the fact that I have no consistent job and am simply waiting for the day when the cash pool dries up.

This is all stuff that will need to be addressed of course, but I should not be reacting in such a flesh inspired way! We seek the Lord. He provides insight. Then we have the audacity to worry about means of completing His will?!?!

I'm ridiculous...

So God, we ask that we would be continuously seeking Your will, and that we would be weak enough to allow your strength to work through us in completion of the tasks at hand. God blessed me with the strength to pray through this all with Dave and continue on in starting this journey. So I moved. And God is doing amazing things already in confirmation. From the moment I moved in, God began to work between us and in our roommate relationship. Its happening, and I'm not ready! God is, so break me and fill me with your strength instead!

A synopsis of general life.


God is moving greatly at this time. All the ones I trust the mostly greatly when understanding Him are feeling it. I don't know if I have mentioned much of what has been going on with myself as of late, but I very much doubt I have when I see just how much time I have allowed to loom up between myself and my last posts.

Over that past months, God has been solidifying new works with a snowballing effect. Around the time I moved back, He was doing big things. While I was away, those whom I was spiritually close to at home, most of whom were single ladies, joins officially with a local body of believers, partaking in a communally supportive network and fellowshipping closely with those others involved. I have since also come into this group, and I am amazed to see God more clearly speaking in lives in this group than I had ever seen with more than just individuals.

So as I returned, this body was made up of its parts from before, mostly relatively younger couples at this point, and of these newer others to whom I was previously close. But surrounding the time I returned, God began to bring other single guys into commitment here.

So now there are more guys around, and I am seeing just how great the spiritual insight and leadership is in these women I know. And so as I have come together with these other men, I believe I can speak for them, or at least for the sum whole of combined minds, that our passion is to see these men living in community and growing together in similar fashion to these girls, hopefully becoming more so of leaders than they themselves are.

We are looking to become more solidified and purposeful in our pursuit of Christ and our strengthening of one another. My vision is to see young men stepping up and becoming fully committed to God, allowing to have total and complete control of all aspects of their lives. Men who are seeking and actively making choices that are furthering their personal character growth, and men who are investing in the lives of others and ministering where the Lord places them. This is the greatest part of what God is doing in my life right now.

That being said, we all need to become closer in a literal sense, since at this time we all live in scattered places. So the ideal future looks something like this. Most of us moving in to a house together, with the purpose of creating a central location for male fellowship within this group.

God has greatly blessed this body with an immense number of artistically inclined members, and with so many of this sort, it is a wonder that no more has been done already along the lines of creative worship. This new house would also ideally be designed to house a location for creative expression and worship for all body members.

Perhaps even others as well!

As of late, I have been very devoted to reading The Chronicles of Narnia. While J.R.R.Tolkien, of Lord of the Rings and Hobbit fame, was not a great fan of his dear friend Lewis' authorship in this material, I cannot help but be amazed and inspired in spiritually epic realms. I'm reading them at almost a book a day. This is unheard of for my character, but none know that without being told so by myself.

Lewis is inspiring. He knows just how to capture a thought in perfect word imagery. He is able to explain magical experiences of which no one has ever partaken with such natural and familial language, often utilizing a normal activity to explain similar feelings in supernatural events. While everything is continually magical, it always seems completely real and physical, which is hard enough to explain with images, let alone with the choicest words. He succeeds and excels.

As a lover of nature, I am also easily seduced by his elegant explanations of such natural beauty as one can only imagine in this world. The lands and nature he explains almost constantly are almost as unrealistic to this existence as the magic that exudes within Narnian living.

But the far greatest element of C.S. Lewis work here is seen in the spiritual imagery seen within everything Aslan touches. Although his interaction is at some points non-existent for great lengths, it is always felt that all which takes place is by his hand or allowance, and all ultimately ends in his will and by his working. I do not think it is irregular for a theologian to be somewhat confused by Lewis' personal theology, but when it is played out in a narrative such as this, it is just as the old phrase, "a picture says a thousand words." Endless volumes of theological rhetoric could never sum up Lewis work in even some single chapters of Narnian happenings.

Aslan's relationship to the children and those whom are willingly in his service is some of the nearest inspiration to the Bible my heart has known, in its own category alongside the rhetoric of Tozer and the logic of Schaeffer. His character is almost surprising every time it acts, for it is so similar to Christ that it is hard for the human mind to know what to expect. I literally consider myself blessed to even be able to recognize that this is a very exact image of Christ. Many a most religious and well read person would overlook the striking similarity.

I would say it is by no means a stretch to say that The Chronicles of Narnia show a very true physical representation of how God would (in a few does cases does) work in the spiritual life of those willing to devote themselves in wholeness to Himself and His pursuits.

God is moving in my life through these books!

I just started another Tozer book, "Man, The Dwelling Place of God." Already, insights abound.

After talking about how much greater being honored before God is in comparison to all the honor of this world, Tozer says. . .

This being true and being known to the heavenly intelligences, the methods we use to persuade men to follow Christ must seem to them extremely illogical if not downright wrong.
Evangelical Christians commonly offer Christ to mankind as a nostrum to cure their ills, a way out of their troubles, a quick and easy means to the achievement of personal ends. They use the right words, but their emphasis is awry. The message is so presented as to leave the hearer with the impression that he is being asked to give up much to gain more. And that is not good, however well intentioned it may be.
What we do is precisely what a good salesman does when he presents the excellence of his product as compared with that of his closest competitor. The customer chooses the better of the two, as who would not? But the weakness of the whole salesmanship technique is apparent: the idea of selfish gain is present in the whole transaction.

The last line is the most potent to me. It is so true, that the most often explanation given in Sunday schools and evangelistic outreach is that Hell will be no good, and we can plan something better. It sounds like some deal that should include a casket, grave plot, and funeral plan package. I think the selfishness element is dependant upon this lack of perspective. How can salvation be worth much to one who needs so little?

The truth is that our salvation is always continually dependant upon our brokenness. Duh. We're obviously saved from something. But its never sold that way. How infrequently do we hear the Gospel from the beginning in this modern Christianity?

I think this falsely presented message is a mix of issues. The saddest of which is simply that those who do not understand the Good News fully are the ones trying to convince others of its worth. It can also be those most acquainted with the full message who become the most desperate. Observation provides insight into the fact that those most passionate about the Gospel are so greatly zealous that they fall quickly into a very deeply pensive state when pursuing the lost. We take on too much responsibility in the process. We love those souls with Christ's love, but find it discouraging and disheartening when we are unable to personally enact Christ's movement on their hearts.

Be encouraged little ones! It should be our greatest joy to allow God to take responsibility for changing the sinner's hearts! Our brokenness for the soul's of these should be comforted in the camaraderie found in God's same and greater heartbreak!

In the Bible we find the commission to spread the Word and make disciples. If you observe the processes in question, there is a middle step we seem to be excluded from. Perhaps we aren't meant to be a third party in the creation of this relationship! Our responsibility lies only in making Christ's glory known to the hearts of man, and in building up the lives of the children of the Burning Heart!

May your joy be multiplied in your reliance upon Christ to reach those on your hearts!

I do wonder though, to what extent should the Gospel be contextualized? It is obvious that Paul became all things to all men, and spoke in a way condusive to further connection with his audiences. But the message was unfaultering in remaining the identical core. It seems that more often we have flipped this, contextualizing the Gospel to its detriment and giving no thought in how to approach our target audience graciously.

Any thoughts on this?

I think there is truly a balance in every issue in life.
At simple face value, this may sound really obvious to some while striking others as very simplistic or coping out. Let me dig a bit.

I have lots of friends who are very passionate. This is just something Christ does in people. And it is good. I have worked in many a factory surrounded by people content to simply work, watch TV, and sleep, with occasional weekend partying. I am heartbroken over this lack of desire for any purpose in life. I wish there was some way to get into some one's heart and cause them to desire or have hope for more.
But I think that passionate people carry their own list of issues, some of which are often in desiring clarity in thinking. I'm not really talking about the obvious issues of people who always speak their mind without concern, arguing to prove their point's validity to no end. I'm talking about something deeper.
I see that in many very deeply concerned issues of the Christian life, there is always a tense balance between two extremes. Much of the Bible is written this way.

Two Words. Grace and Works.
But seriously, I would venture to say that almost every single point that one could make from Scripture could be responded to with a valid counter statement which balances it out. While God deals in absolutes when it comes to morality and His own standards, much of Scripture, when weighed as a whole, comes out somewhere in the middle between two counter balancing truths. Often the best way to follow God in a situation is totally circumstantial. In the end, the only constant solution is obedience and faith.

I've been burnt pretty badly in my time here thus far.
I've been an arguer and debater my entire life, its just always been surrounding me, and I became good at it. But the intensity of failure of relationships in the past leaves me scared. Perhaps the greatest factors in these tremendous loses are these attitudes which where already leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I hate that I have lost important people because of my own desire to be right about stupid things, compounded over a span of years, which turned great and encouraging intimate friendships into meaningless hollow memories. This leaves me at a point where philosophical and theological debate leave me drained from the first word of rebuttal. I can't handle this anymore.
I think we get pretty ridiculous about this. People may be completely led by the Spirit to intensely study a certain topic, find immense truth, and then from this make leaping, overarching statements that they deem all-inclusive. Others have been restored from horrible trauma in their past, but even so come to completely one-sided conclusions about what God's truth is about the general issues involved.
I guess I have come to a point where I can't stand the ways in which we think we figure things out. Wasn't the purpose of salvation that we couldn't get things right? So we continue to study and develop our love relationships with Christ, but by no means should we be eagerly seeking a bottom line.
Are we really supposed to have a theses statement for life?
Isn't it a bit above our heads?
I mean, where is faith when your just seeking to find all the answers?

Look again at this imagery of marriage in regards to our relation to Christ. When I wrote the original post on the topic, I said that marriage is a very vivid example of what we should and can experience in relationship with God, but that it is also a very poor shadow of how great this relationship can be. I went on to discuss the ways in which we should be able to experience emotions and a mind set surprisingly similar to marriage, but I never really talked about the great distance above and beyond which is available with Christ.

Envision the perfect marriage. This brings to mind a different definition to many people, some wouldn't even agree that there could be such a thing with all of the brokenness surrounding us. But I find that the more I pour myself into Christ, the more I gain vision for right relationships, even if I don't see them in reality before me.

My point is not really to define the perfect interaction of a couple, but to realize something else. We still have a broken relationship, a marriage to Christ with a fault running across its foundation. We still live as a broken, distrusting wife in our flesh. This is the reason that people like Paul look forward with such anticipation toward a world beyond this. Then the marriage will be perfected. But be humbled and strengthen, renewed in exaltation of your groom in realizing this.

The groom is always faithful, even in the many circumstances when His bride is not aware or paying attention. He is full of integrity in all His interactions. When He is slandered, He does not lash out at offenders or speak to others of His great misfortune. But His bride is often quick to react in His defense in a way in which He Himself would not react or find becoming. And while this bride extols Him in this way and praises Him to others, she often treats Him poorly, or disregards the things she would claim about Him when she is more contented. All of her attitudes are dependant on her mood or her emotions. Others may only hear or see nice things, but her husband is constantly faced with a very violently obvious division of contradicting emotions. While she reaps all the benefits of a selfless lover, He is left confused and emotionally weary by her actions toward Him.

This sounds like a rough marriage situation. It doesn't sound nearly as bad as many marriages today, but is both sad and beautiful. It is sad to see something broken, only kept beautiful and intact by the actions of one member.

But realize that this is all true of your relationship with Christ. Your the bride. Your so lucky to have His undying affections! We treat Him so poorly, it almost seems a negative when we do occasionally appreciate Him, because it shows just how much our circumstances decide our opinions of our Great Lover, and how much we ultimately worship and love ourselves instead.

But there is so much beauty in God's constant faithfulness in love to us. He is the Husband who never leave in any circumstance, and never even falters in demeanor, focus, or passion. God be praised that, while we still find ways to destroy our relationship with Him, He is constantly glorifying Himself through His faithfulness to us! We are the luckiest people to have such faithfulness exacted out into our lives daily! Let this affect us greatly.

It is this love relationship on which I recently wrote which God continues to expand in my view.

As of late, God has built a new awareness into my life. He has layered on understand and new perceptions in rapid succession. He has been revealing to me what I should be looking for in a wife.

Woah.

Wait a second, what does this have to do with anything I have been writing about? Let me disclaimer this post by saying that I am not seeking a relationship right now, that's not where my mind is, in fact, as you read hopefully you will understand how much I'm trying to ignore the idea of a relationship until God throws something in my face.

I have been earnestly seeking God. This is only by His hand, for I have no skill in this as a very broken man. But He is always faithful, and I have been reaping blessings through the Scripture, Godly friends, and general revelation. As strange as it may sound, the more I have been seeking Christ, the more I have been coming to understand marriage. God started to show me simply things, but in His flawless light. Things that don't sound extraordinary, like that I should never been looking at any feature in a possible mate other than the extent of their personal devotion to Christ and the similarity of their heart to His.

I haven't been studying marriage, or looking through Scripture specifically related to it. But daily I receive a new perspective on how much more my relationship with Christ is than a marriage could ever be. Marriage done properly is a very vivid shadow of what our relationship with Christ is, but also a very poor shadow of the extreme nature of this relationship. The emotions we have about other people in romantic relationships are the ones we should be strangely close to having about Christ. Every poor blind human scouring the earth for someone to fall in and out of love with is truly a being seeking back the lost King of His heart. Every perfect romantic fairy tale or movie plot is really a shadow of a much greater relationship meant to be had with God.

A perfect marriage, which we don't really see often, includes most of the attitudes and feelings we should have toward Christ. But the most exquisite marriage is no match for the greatness of what God has dreamed for us.

So to truly be Christ's bride, I should treat him as I would if I where someones wife.

This has been a strange but empowering perspective for me recently. I don't mean acting feminine in any way, I am actually continually striving toward manlier manhood. But I do mean looking at life as if every decision affects both myself and the man who is leading me. It means learning to submit in every single situation, so that my opinion doesn't determine the outcome. This new perspective has me making disciplined decisions to devote things to Christ, because He has to be my priority for this relationship to work. I'm sure there are so many other analogies that don't come to my head immediately, all of which are equally valid and revealing.

So I try earnestly to live my whole day, every day, thinking about the relationship I have committed myself to in salvation. The perspective that is so transforming in creating a healthy marriage is exactly what is needed in creating a healthy life with Christ! And this relationship must always take priority over any human one. A marriage is only designated by God, not something we should be looking to for personal gratification.

So even though I have been learning alot about marriage, I am at the same time becoming more cautious about stumbling upon relationships. My blinders are up, and I am hoping and praying that only a miracle could bring them down.

But it does stand true, if I ever want to be a good husband, I have to learn to be a great wife.

At the Gathering this week, God spoke through a friend into my life. This is pretty much the norm.
He said, basically, that God is not desirous of what we are able to do for Him. While our talents, abilities, and areas of expertise are definitely valid to be useful, God is not looking for us to be figuring out all the great things we can do with those talents. He wants us to be faithful in being useful where we are. This was ice water in my spiritual face.
I have been trying to discern God's will for me among the torrent of various options and possibilities available as I settle back in at home. I have been seeking God's face in this, and looking for interesting or cool possibilities. But I don't think God necessarily wants me to look for the neat ministry I was thinking I might be equipped to pull off. He wants me available to do what he wants.
So I put the ideas I have been mulling over off to the side, and I looked for ways that I could be selflessly serving the needs that God was trying to fill. I found the opportunity before I totally realized I was looking. So God gave me the opportunity to serve Him in a more lowly, less skill/talent oriented fashion, and it was a great blessing. To do a more lowly job is a great way to truly experience God's will.
It is amazing however, how easily we can do something humbling with a prideful spirit. How does it work out that we can serve God in a hole somewhere and then brag about how humbling it was? So perhaps we find ourselves in one of three positions.
In the first position, we are unwilling to do what God would have us or blind to what the is. We do nothing of true benefit in this category.
In the second, we see and follow through with the service of God, and it is good for us and molds us, but we see it at face value, a work and stretch that grew us.
But the third, this is the greatest, to live in simple love relationship with God in a manner that yearns to be only working in the hole on the other side of the world. A love relationship so real that serving God needs no fruit whatsoever, because its just for Him, and His satisfaction is the only fruit we would see anyway.
A friend told me a story recently about a man going to heaven and coming back. I think we have a common feeling sometimes about this type of Lazurus story. We wonder, how could this person who has seen the presence of God stand to come back to earth once more. But when this man was asked about this, his response was that to be so overwhelmed with adoration for God only loans itself to be unwavering in doing whatever He could possibly ask of us.
I once had one of the most worshipful experiences of my life standing at the end of a steel press in a factory, praise God for his glory! I don't see this as something to brag about, but something I desire. I want to be contented to work in a deep hole without the knowledge of any other being aside from the Lord. I want that love with Him to break all fleshly desires for anything else!

Since returning to Kentucky, the highlight has been attending a house church locally called The Gathering. I knew about this group coming back, but I really wasn't prepared for the great depths to which the Lord is moving with this community.

I have friends who are much better at friendship than I am, and they had been faithful while I was gone to keep in pretty regular contact with me. You know who you are. So coming back into the area, I knew that my group of friends in Bellevue were getting pretty involved with discipleship and had partnered with a group they where pretty familiar with in Ft. Thomas, even though I didn't really know any of these people.

God is intense! He faithfully moves upon us when we seek His face. It is so refreshing to have such authentic community!

This week I felt kind of like I had receive a laundry list from God. But it was great, exactly what I needed and was ready for. I felt like every point made by those present was something I had to respond to with an "oh yeah, I should really start living that out" mentality.

One of the largest things that God keeps rehashing these past few days is that my love relationship with Him should be my only true priority. All of the so called "blessings" we have in life are ultimately most often simply distractions. I was discussing this over coffee with a friend last night. Neither of us are really coffee drinkers, definitely not Starbucks junkies. But there we where, for the purpose of growing together in Christ. Is it weird that we both drank tea at Starbucks? I was afraid they might kick us out... But as we where talking about how perhaps we should rethink our definition of blessings, since most of the things we call blessings are just big distractions, God brought Philippians 1:22 to my mind. Now I think many Christians automatically recognize this "To live is Christ, to die is gain" passage, but I had just read it that morning, and had specifically realized that I still have never been sure of what "to live is Christ" could possibly mean. It sounds like bad grammar or deep philosophy, maybe both. But I had never really come to grips with that term, even though I had thought about this issue before.

But here is the truth. The only satisfaction and sustainance in this life is Christ. To use a Tozer analogy, God gave man all things to bless him, then man sinned, taking God off of the throne of his heart and continuously trying to replace Him by utilizing these various blessings as throne substitutes. The things which bind us are perversions of those things given us by God. To live is Christ. Therefore, to live is to experiance a constant love relationship with God, to be constantly pushing aside the broken blessings the world is holding up in our faces. To live is Christ. All else falls ultimately into the category of distraction. The only thing I should want is Christ's intimacy and the ablity to serve Him in what He asks of me.

To live is Christ.

To live is Christ!