I was talking to a friend the other day, and they mentioned to me how much spiritual oppression they feel right now. I had to agree when we thought of ourselves and all the friends and family going through spiritual slumps. It was hard to think of anyone we knew well who seemed to really be walking with God in a clear visible way. This in not to insult anyone, but to say that it has been increasingly feeling to me and others as if God is not moving. We know this is not true, but looking into Lamentations today really reminded me of that conversation, and how true it can be that all spiritual light can seemingly dissapear. The beautiful thing is that even with no visible changes many time, God shows the author and encourages us as well through it. We can see that no matter how bleak God is always faithful and only waiting for us to act as such with Him. No matter how bleak, God is always there and controlling things, regardless of whether we see change or not. Do not doubt Him.

Proverbs 20:21 says, "An inheritance gained hastily in the beginning will not be blessed in the end."

I feel like this verse along with many of the others surrounding it really applies for me at this stage in my life. The combination of the issues in my previous post and the intense busyness of the world we are acustom to makes this verse the one I need. So busy looking for the answers to know where to aim. God wants us to just look to him day to day and find the answers now for the questions now at hand.

Proverbs 20:21 says. "An inheritance gained hastily in the beginning will not be blessed in the end."

I've heard that some schools try to get you to decide on your career upon entering high school, so you can take classes more geared in the right direction. I find it very hard to accept that God considers that important to be thinking about. In highschool, I was grounded and felt confident in my life, my standards, and where my values were. Since I left for college, I lost all those things. Constantly thinking months and years ahead has forfeited me all the time I've spent with that mentality. I feel like I have tripped over every step because I was trying to look blocks ahead. Lost track of my relationship with God over and over again, not focused on who I am today, but what I'll do in 3 weeks/6 months/2 years/1 decade. I, and anyone who can relate, have to think differently from what everyone else seems to endorse.

Man, I really need to learn to take these self-photos where I am sitting around my house, staring at the camera/ off into the distance. It seems everyone but me has had one at some point. I need to get on that...

I have to say that college over all has been a time of turmoil for me. I have come to question everything from what I want to do to what God wants me to do to what God thinks is most important. I have come in counter with every question from every angle, and screwed up alot in my answers I think. I have made alot of mistakes, and understand completely how so many kids get so screwed up when they go off to college. It's not just the schooling, it's the complete lack of familiarity, and much of your accountablity. Everything is constantly changing... one day you are sure you are focused in one direction, the next it could be completely different. I have had some many different, often reoccuring, directions in my life since I started college. It's easy to lose sight.

So I am extremely thankful that God gives me those reminders. Like I work temp jobs, and I just randomly meet people who find out I went to a Christian school and immediately interogate me on my walk with God. I need that so much and God really just provides this interesting situations. He really wants me back. No matter what I am focused on, God wants me to be focused on him more. I need to remember that.

So here is the tale of the sheer adventure that my life has been since my semester has ended. I have been searching for a good job and, as usual, have been through a lot of struggle in these recent days. After a few days of search, I found opportunity through a temp agency to work in the Discovery Channel's local warehouse. I was excited, and called my cousin Trey to let him know that there were opportunities available. On my way to my first day of work, I had a flat tire, my dad picked me up and I was about 10 minutes late, which I found disqualified me from starting for another 3 days or so...
In the meantime, Trey got a job there in an office rather than the warehouse, and started working. I called the temp agency and they told me that Discovery would not be adding workers on the day I was told to come back. So....
I tried some other options, which took plenty of time to find out that they were also not available. I finally called the temp agency back and found that if I could make it to the Discovery warehouse in 15 minutes, I could work 2nd shift. I hurried as fast as I could in the weather, and arrived 2 minutes late. Fate was on my side, and they still let me in, so I went into the cafeteria and waited for about 45 minutes. Then, the front desk lady came in and told us that for only the second time since she had started there, they would not be hiring any of the temps brought in today. So I got to come home early.

Every man has a core within him which is not known by any other man. This innner depth of man is of a different nature from the rest of his existance. A. W. Tozer called this "man's 'I Am,' which is a gift from the I AM who created him." Man's "I Am" is dependant on God and is in Scripture refered to as the spirit of man. In I Corinthians 2:11, the Bible says that man knowns of the things of man from the spiritu of man, and that God knows the things of God through the Spirit of God. Man's "I Am" is his source of truly knowing himself, and the Spirit of God uses this as the inlet to giving man insight into God and the things of God. In John 4:23, the Bible says that true worship is in spirit. That means that true worship lifestyle is a spirit in the depths of existence that recognizes God and a worldview that is balanced correctly. This is necessary to truly worship God in life, not in an instance, but perpetuated.

One of the things that amazes me the most about technology is how easy it has become to perform almost any type of art and get it out there seriously. For example, anyone can choose to put their own tracks on Itunes and recieve any revenue they may attain. Radiohead has shown us that anyone who has the ability to get attention and a catchy musical writing ability can easily see results from the individual, not required to please some label, but done even in leasure or just for the heck of it. Also, via the ads on this blog itself, I found websites were you can write and publish a book comepletely electronically, without any need to find a publisher. Again, this is a completely individual level thing, were you only have to impress the people, not requiring someone to back it in any way, like a label or publishing house. There is also clothing design, which I'm sure most are already familiar with. These services, at there basic level, are almost always free, and the only down side is that the buyer sees a slight (or not so slight) price markup. This seems a small price to pay to wear or listen to something more exactly what you want, and is especially small for the clothing designer, author, and recording artist who has a full time job elsewhere.