JANUARY 23RD - Wedding. MY Wedding...

So yeah, that being said, there is plenty to do before then.

I have plenty of well founded reasons to feel like I should not be waiting long to be married to my wonderful future-bride, but I have to admit that the schedule here on out is a bit daunting. I mean, I just started a new job at a place that is about to be booming with crazy amounts of business. Then there are the holidays, which successfully take up all our time until January. Not to mention my cousin's wedding, on the 2nd which will also take a few days. By that time your only just two weeks out from the grand event itself. And there are a million things to try to remember to do. For a kicker, we have plenty of non-wedding, non-holiday stuff to get done in the next few weeks.

Future-bride has really kicked it into high gear, to my surprise and delight. I'm often the type of person who is mentally worrying about every aspect of anything I'm personally invested in, so even though she is taking care of many more things that I have to, I am still overwhelmed for her, or something like that. Either way, I feel a weight that isn't bad, but ends up slightly exhausting.

Today, my focus needs to be on getting the invitations and programs designed and completed. Phew. Wish me luck!

So sorry for not mentioning it sooner, but I got engaged. Last month. Like right after the last post. Sorry.

I feel a bit guilty for not mentioning this to you sooner. I'm a bad friend.

So the past few weeks have been a bit blurry, mostly since we're busy trying to figure out how to plan something we don't really feel up to planning, and my lovely fiancee (she's a girl so it has two e's, I was informed) is working a lot and trying to find people to work when she's not doing it herself, which makes her feel like she's constantly working. And next come my birthday and the holidays. Yay.

I also got a job. I will now be a proud member of the brand new Kroger team. Very proud. It doesn't open till mid December though. That's about it for now I guess, if we're talking on such a grand scale. Perhaps if I post more regularly I can talk in less generality.

P.S. Lisa is a grammar nazi, so I doubt I will be able to end many more statements without using a simple, single period, even though I love leaving the thought unended...

Unless I had a really boring job, I could never imagine getting paid to travel and not enjoying it. The first time I ever got to experience this was while living in Texas. I travelled for All Access Today to Las Vegas to work at the Professional Bull Riding Championship Finals. It was an awesome experience, I even kind of learned to enjoyed the sport of bull riding. But the amazing part, to me, is that I got to spend my time traveling, in airports, on planes, in new places, a new city, an amazing car accident, etc... and I got paid to do it all.
Tomorrow, I am traveling with a good friend, Jon Willis, who is an awesome photographer doing a photo shoot in Iowa. I'm just going as a simple assistant, but its awesome to get to travel and consider it work, because no matter how valuable your time is to your employer, its still crazy that anything like this counts as work! We were discussing it and he enjoys the traveling too, which makes it even cooler. I'm pumped to get to go on a work trip again!
Sweet!

The Lord is pulling some serious crap out of me. Or I'm assuming that's what this process is all about.

I've been unemployed for two months now. In this time my life has shown an increasing level of negative pattern. These may be things which some would consider normal, but its not healthy. My personal spiritual life, my community fellowship and discipleship, my leadership with Lisa, and even my efforts to find a job have all been hindered by something in me that doesn't know how to respond correctly in this situation. I have a strong feeling its all something very deep rooted, a remnant from my childhood. I only say this because as this is being prodded at the depths of my insecurities are stirred up. I'm still not sure how this all connects together but its something the Lord is working out, and I trust that, so I'm just going to work on allowing Him to break open the dark parts of my subconscious.

That's it really, I've got big things turning up, and I don't even know what they look like yet, but they are being pulled on and I'm confident they will soon be uprooted.

Hello Sozo!

Recently my father started his own company. After about 20 years of working in real estate for West Shell (when it was just West Shell), ReMax, and other smaller companies, he is finally his own master. He got his broker's license this past summer after much laborious work and is finally on the small business owner path. Its not too big of a transition as far as mentality, because he has technically been self employed for a long time, but now he gets to reap the benefits of the adventure that is total personal control.

All this goes to say, I am excited and proud, and ready to try my hand at helping him optimize his business capabilities through self marketing and all the intricacies the Internet provides for doing so. I think its awesome when people like my dad can start a small business with a real purpose in mind. Sozo Realty is a company that is truly there to help people, and that is the owner and founders heart. I know it from a lot of personal experience. Its cool to get to try your hand at helping those kind of people!

Its amazing the ways in which the Lord can teach us to know Him.

As I learn to love Lisa in a reflection of His love, I learn more about who He is to me, how He wants me to know Him. One of the biggest things He is teaching me is how He wants to relate to me in life. I'll steal an analogy a friend and I have been using lately to grasp this. My friend and his family recently moved into a new, awesome house. His son helped him in the moving process. In a move of sheer genius parenting, he decided that connecting with his son was more important than efficient moving time, so he allowed his young son to take up some of the decision making process and do as much of the moving as he was able to at his age. He could see that his son came away with a sense of accomplishment, he learned and worked and found fulfillment and confidence. He knew his father trusted him and wanted to help him take on a big task.

I have always been afraid in the position of the son who is moving. God knows what He is doing, and I always want Him to tell me to sit on the porch while He moves all our boxes, then we can just go get another load when He is finished. But He doesn't do things that way. I want Him to take control, because He knows what He is doing, where to put things, how to carry them. But His goal is not to get the boxes into the right rooms. His goal is to relate to me. His goal is that I know who He is, who He wants to be, that I know who I am to Him, and that I grow in relation to Him. He wants me to take steps in the move, and I can ask questions, but He won't ever just give me all the answers, and He won't just do it Himself. I am always asked to learn to know Him more in every situation.
That's what the Lord is teaching me. It is one of the strongest confirmations I have ever had that I am moving in the right direction, which is ironic since a lot of it is learning how to move in the right direction.

Its seems foreign that I am learning to know Christ better so much so because I am called to be an image of Him in many ways to another. I'm learning to trust that He is full of truth and that's where my confidence should be founded. I am something new because He asks me to fill roles I am not personally qualified for, but He's showing me the ropes.

THANK YOU JESUS!!