It is this love relationship on which I recently wrote which God continues to expand in my view.

As of late, God has built a new awareness into my life. He has layered on understand and new perceptions in rapid succession. He has been revealing to me what I should be looking for in a wife.

Woah.

Wait a second, what does this have to do with anything I have been writing about? Let me disclaimer this post by saying that I am not seeking a relationship right now, that's not where my mind is, in fact, as you read hopefully you will understand how much I'm trying to ignore the idea of a relationship until God throws something in my face.

I have been earnestly seeking God. This is only by His hand, for I have no skill in this as a very broken man. But He is always faithful, and I have been reaping blessings through the Scripture, Godly friends, and general revelation. As strange as it may sound, the more I have been seeking Christ, the more I have been coming to understand marriage. God started to show me simply things, but in His flawless light. Things that don't sound extraordinary, like that I should never been looking at any feature in a possible mate other than the extent of their personal devotion to Christ and the similarity of their heart to His.

I haven't been studying marriage, or looking through Scripture specifically related to it. But daily I receive a new perspective on how much more my relationship with Christ is than a marriage could ever be. Marriage done properly is a very vivid shadow of what our relationship with Christ is, but also a very poor shadow of the extreme nature of this relationship. The emotions we have about other people in romantic relationships are the ones we should be strangely close to having about Christ. Every poor blind human scouring the earth for someone to fall in and out of love with is truly a being seeking back the lost King of His heart. Every perfect romantic fairy tale or movie plot is really a shadow of a much greater relationship meant to be had with God.

A perfect marriage, which we don't really see often, includes most of the attitudes and feelings we should have toward Christ. But the most exquisite marriage is no match for the greatness of what God has dreamed for us.

So to truly be Christ's bride, I should treat him as I would if I where someones wife.

This has been a strange but empowering perspective for me recently. I don't mean acting feminine in any way, I am actually continually striving toward manlier manhood. But I do mean looking at life as if every decision affects both myself and the man who is leading me. It means learning to submit in every single situation, so that my opinion doesn't determine the outcome. This new perspective has me making disciplined decisions to devote things to Christ, because He has to be my priority for this relationship to work. I'm sure there are so many other analogies that don't come to my head immediately, all of which are equally valid and revealing.

So I try earnestly to live my whole day, every day, thinking about the relationship I have committed myself to in salvation. The perspective that is so transforming in creating a healthy marriage is exactly what is needed in creating a healthy life with Christ! And this relationship must always take priority over any human one. A marriage is only designated by God, not something we should be looking to for personal gratification.

So even though I have been learning alot about marriage, I am at the same time becoming more cautious about stumbling upon relationships. My blinders are up, and I am hoping and praying that only a miracle could bring them down.

But it does stand true, if I ever want to be a good husband, I have to learn to be a great wife.